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“Despite being surrounded by people in the office, I still feel disconnected and alone.” “I have so many followers on Instagram, and my posts receive numerous comments, yet I still feel a sense of emptiness and lack confidence in myself.” If you can relate to these thoughts, you might be experiencing feelings of emptiness. This sense of emptiness can make you feel numb, emotionally detached, and isolated, even when you are not physically alone. It’s a common experience in today’s digital world, where social connections can sometimes feel shallow or unfulfilling. These feelings may stem from a lack of deep, meaningful relationships or an inner disconnection from your own needs and emotions. Recognizing these feelings is the first step toward addressing them and finding ways to reconnect with yourself and others on a deeper level. Signs An Individual is experiencing feelings of emptiness You get upset with the tiniest inconvenience and cannot control your emotions or cannot stop crying.  You might also experience emotional violity (extreme fluction feeling great and depressed). Leading to an inability to control their anger.  You might feel like an outsider even around your friends and family. There is a continuous feeling of being understood and as if no one knows you as an Individual.  You don’t feel any purpose in your life which also leads you to feel depressed.  Even if you have rested well, You feel exhausted and your productivity gets compromised. The simple task like returning a phone or replying to important messages seems like an overwhelming task.  To escape from feeling the emptiness you keep scrolling, online shopping or watching series, leading to wasting your time.  You stop taking care of yourself, you start to neglect your own physical and emotional needs. You start becoming secondary for yourself. This is the biggest sign that your mental health is getting affected and it needs some attention.  You are constantly trying to be perfect in all the areas of your life like relationships, professionally or even as a human being but don’t feel satisfied ever within yourself.  You continuously are in the loop of victimising yourself. Hence, you feel that everyone around is trying to hurt you.  You might also get addicted to substances or people around you to deal with feelings of emptiness within yourself. Addiction is always a secondary problem to deal with, there is always an underlying primary problem that leads to an individual becoming addicted.  Not everyone will experience all of the symptoms, but even experiencing a few can be a sign that it’s important to pay attention to your mental health. Each individual is unique, and mental health challenges can manifest in different ways. If you notice some of these symptoms, such as feeling persistently sad, anxious, overwhelmed, or detached, it’s crucial to take them seriously. These signs can be indicators that your mental well-being needs attention and care.   Taking steps to address these feelings early on can help prevent them from becoming more severe. This might include reaching out for support from friends, family, or a mental health professional, practising self-care routines, or engaging in activities that promote relaxation and emotional balance. Remember, acknowledging these signs and seeking help is a strength, not a weakness, and it’s an important step towards maintaining your overall health and well-being.   An Individual experiencing the feeling of emptiness might feel the heaviness of the heart. However one should remember that feeling is the result of our thoughts. According to CBT, thoughts play a crucial role in making humans experience particular emotions.  For example – If I am thinking, I don’t have anyone, I am all alone, I don’t have any purpose, then yes the feeling of emptiness will get triggered inside me.  However, If I think that I am enough and I am grateful to have it right now, then I will experience a feeling of calmness and satisfaction.    At MyImpetus we closely work to help our clients to deal with the Automatic thoughts that lead them to feel certain way about themselves. We use different therapies according to the client’s needs.   At MyImpetus, founder Kainaz Bharucha strongly believes that every individual has the potential to help themselves with the help of therapy. Kainaz Bharucha recommends a few techniques that can be used by one struggling with the feeling of emptiness and the following are: 1. Mindfulness It is important to bring yourself to the present moment as it will help to break the chain of thoughts. The simple process to bring you back in the present moment, choose a colour in your mind and try to choose an object of that colour in your surrounding. Followed by activating your 5 sense organ 5 things you can see 4 things you can hear 3 things you can touch 2 thing you can smell 1 thing you can taste 2. Gratitude Journaling Practicing gratitude by regularly writing down things you are thankful for trains your brain to focus on the positives in your life. Throughout human history, people have often been conditioned to notice the negatives in any situation first, as a survival mechanism. However, by consciously practicing gratitude, you can shift this mindset. This practice helps prevent you from exaggerating negative situations in your mind and encourages you to find a sense of purpose and fulfillment in your daily life. Gratitude journaling can foster a more positive outlook and improve overall well-being.

What is People-Pleasing ? People Pleasing is a behavior where one tries to constantly make sure that people around him/her are not upset or thinking good about him/her.  It leads to people constantly making “an effort  to make other people happy” around them and they tend to suppress their own needs. People Pleasing can come across as an individual behavior, Nevertheless it can also be an learned behavior from parents and teachers. It can also be a Trauma or stress response. People Pleasing personalities tend to get confused with people who effortlessly help people around them. Identifying Common Traits of People-Pleasing Personalities An Individual will come across as very helpful but there are some repercussion of this behavior     People-pleasers often feel internally tired and exhausted due to their constant need for approval. Their happiness hinges on others’ reactions, which can be draining because not everyone will acknowledge their efforts. They struggle with setting healthy boundaries, fearing that doing so might disappoint others. They frequently sacrifice their own needs to avoid the risk of losing important relationships. Despite being surrounded by many people, they often find it challenging to form genuine connections. They have a tendency to overcommit, taking on more responsibilities than they can handle. People pleasers may believe that sharing their problems or secrets could place an emotional burden on others. They might think that by keeping their issues to themselves, they are protecting their friends or loved ones from discomfort or stress. Many people struggle with low self-esteem and self-worth. They might feel that their secrets are too shameful or unworthy of others’ time and attention, leading them to keep these aspects of their lives private. People pleasers often go to great lengths to avoid conflicts, so they might withhold personal information to maintain a smooth and harmonious relationship. People pleasers, there’s a significant concern that such disclosure might lead to rejection or disapproval from others, threatening their need for acceptance and approval. Common Reasons for Developing a People-Pleasing Personality Low Self-Esteem: Individuals with low self-esteem often seek validation from others to feel valued and accepted. Pleasing others becomes a way to gain approval and boost their self-worth. Fear of Rejection: A strong fear of rejection or abandonment can drive people to please others. By ensuring everyone around them is happy, they hope to avoid the pain of being rejected or left out. Childhood Experiences: Experiences during childhood, such as having to earn parental approval or growing up in a highly critical environment, can contribute to the development of people-pleasing behaviors. Children may learn that their value is contingent on pleasing others. Desire for Control: Some individuals use people-pleasing as a way to exert control over their social environment. By keeping everyone around them content, they can manage relationships and avoid potential conflicts or disruptions. Cultural or Societal Expectations: Cultural norms and societal expectations can play a role in shaping people-pleasing behaviors. In some cultures, there is a strong emphasis on harmony and compliance with social roles, leading individuals to prioritize others’ needs over their own. Guilt and Obligation: Feelings of guilt or a sense of obligation can drive people to please others. They may feel compelled to meet others’ needs or expectations out of a sense of responsibility, even at their own expense. Desire for Approval: A deep-seated desire for external approval and recognition can lead to people-pleasing. Individuals may prioritize others’ opinions and seek constant affirmation to feel valued and accepted. These factors can interact in complex ways, contributing to a person’s tendency to prioritize others’ needs and desires over their own. 3 Ways to Stop Being a People Pleaser End-of-Day Reflection: At the end of each day, take a few moments to write down three positive qualities or achievements about yourself. This exercise helps counteract the tendency to seek validation from others and shifts the focus to recognizing your own value. By consistently acknowledging your strengths and accomplishments, you train your mind to appreciate and love yourself, reinforcing that you deserve positive self-regard and self-love without needing external approval. Learn to Say No: One of the core challenges for people pleasers is setting boundaries and prioritizing personal needs. Start by practicing saying no in low-stakes situations to build confidence. Understand that it’s essential to assert your needs and limits to maintain your mental and emotional health. Although it might feel uncomfortable initially, embracing this discomfort is part of the process of learning to value yourself and your time. Over time, your brain will adapt to this new way of thinking, and setting boundaries will become a more natural part of your interactions. Avoid Over-Apologizing: Apologizing is important when you’ve genuinely caused harm, but it’s crucial not to fall into the habit of over-apologizing or being excessively self-critical. Recognize that while it’s important to respect others’ feelings, your self-respect should not be compromised. When you apologize, do so with sincerity but also maintain a balance that preserves your self-worth. This approach helps in developing a healthier self-image and prevents you from diminishing your value through unnecessary guilt or self-reproach.

It’s important to recognize that anxiety is a natural bodily response. It has always been part of the human sense of survival, serving to alert us to potential dangers. Instead of seeing anxiety as an enemy, we can understand it as a friend trying to keep us safe. Our brains use anxiety to signal us when it assumes that stimulant might be harmful.   Anxiety often stems from our thoughts and past experiences. When we feel anxious, it’s a signal to be mindful of our thoughts at that moment. While anxiety itself may not always be within our immediate control, how we respond to it is something we can manage. For example If you are appearing for a math paper and you start thinking that you won’t be able to give the exam or it’s not in your capability etc. Your body is going to feel anxious as soon as the question paper appears in front of you. The autonomic nervous system of our body gets activated which leads to anxiety attack , panic attack, rapid breathing, excessive sweating and chest or stomach pain.   The autonomic nervous system might not be at times in an individual’s control but when one recognizes these psychosomatic symptoms (chest pain, short breaths, stomach ache or sweating etc) then they should use some relaxing techniques to help oneself. Additionally ,It is not necessary that all individuals experience the same psychosomatic response when they are feeling anxious.   Over time, if we experience anxiety frequently, one might start to perceive it as a normal part of our lives. But as an individual one needs to separate themselves from it and understand our mental health problem does not define us as an individual.    The amygdala is partially responsible for our emotions, especially fear. If the amygdala feels the body needs to protected, it releases hormones which instigates few anxiety response including the following are:   Freeze – An Individual will have a feeling of numbness, there might be a possibility that he/she won’t be able to make any movement, difficulty in completing a task,or it will be difficult to make a decision.  Fight – An individual will feel an urge to fight, might get aggressive, have a faster heart rate, will defend themselves and will not listen to other’s opinions.  Flight – An individual will try to escape the situation, will try their best to escape the situation. Additionally, Anxiety is not limited to any age, even during pregnancy if the mother is experiencing anxiety. It can be felt by the child in the womb. The infants when they are left alone in the room, might experience anxiety as the fear of being alone in the room. Simultaneously it can also be experienced by an elderly person when he/she becomes dependent on their children. They would fear how to manage their day to day chores without help or fear of being left out. At the present moment because of social media young adults commonly experience fear of being left out due to which they feel anxious as they have fear of being judged.    As a Founder of MyImpetus, I believe that I want all my clients, anyone who is reading this article, to remember that as an individual we are capable of helping ourselves. At times, we need to come out of our comfort and remind ourselves to take responsibility for our body and help ourselves.    As discussed above that one can help themselves when experiencing anxiety is by using some relaxation techniques and the following are :  Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR): This technique helps to calm down our nervous system, it starts by tensing (Squeezing) our muscles and releasing them. Start by tensing your toe, hold for 10-15 seconds and then release it. Followed by your feet, caves , thigh and you can eventually move upwards until the head muscles. This helps to release tension stored during anxiety.  Visual Imagery – As discussed above, our thoughts play an important role during anxiety, the time you feel anxious one can imagine some peaceful destination. For example, It can be your favorite holiday destination or somewhere you always wanted to go. You can put some relaxing musing and let your body relax and imagine yourself in your safe place. By understanding and managing anxiety, individuals can improve their mental well-being .

What is Self Esteem? Self-Esteem is the way we view ourselves, the value or worth we feel about ourselves. It is important, as individual resilience is indirectly correlated with self-esteem.   Positive Self Esteem leads to building strong resilience. An individual does not view failure or difficult situations as the end of their life. They motivate themselves to face challenges and do not worry about failure. Additionally, an individual with Positive Self Esteem builds healthy boundaries and believes they are worthy of love and respect.  Lack of Self Esteem or Negative Self Esteem leads to low resilience. A difficult situation or failure feels like the end of the world. He/She might avoid challenging situations out of fear of failure. Additionally, an individual will suffer from feeling unworthy of love, support, or respect. However, they find it very difficult to set healthy boundaries with loved ones around them. The brain continues to mature until your mid-20s. Although the brain stops growing in size in your teens, the prefrontal cortex, a vital part of the brain responsible for planning, regulating thoughts, making insightful judgments, and driving mission-oriented actions, matures later compared to other brain regions. The brain region partially responsible for our behavior typically develops into maturity in our mid-twenties. However, as children, we are expected to make all the right decisions despite this ongoing developmental process. The journey begins here, where not only society but even our parents expect the best and most perfect behavior from their children. This cycle perpetuates as our grandparents expected from our parents, our parents built expectations from us, and we, in turn, started building expectations from our children. It is vital to have healthy expectations from children, but when those expectations turn into compulsory actions that need to be performed, it leads to building a lack of self-esteem in childhood. As a child, whenever he/she fails to meet the expectations of their parents, which is followed by criticism, it leads to building negative self-belief about themselves. Because until the age of 6-7, children view themselves from their parents’ vantage point. However, I agree healthy feedback is important for a child’s growth, but it should not be accompanied by labeling, for example – “You are good for nothing,” “I am ashamed of you,” “You are so fat,” “You are so ugly” “He/She is better than you,” and “You are useless,” etc. As discussed above, it leads to negative self-beliefs, which also leads to building a lack of self-esteem. Further, if an individual is continuously surrounded by unhealthy criticism, different psychological syndromes like Imposter syndrome, Social Anxiety Disorder, Perfectionism, Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), etc. How to have Positive Self Esteem? In order to have positive self-esteem, an individual needs to be determined and disciplined. The process might take time because it involves changing neural pathways. Here are a few steps an individual can take by themselves to feel change and have positive self-esteem. Practice Positive Small Self Talk – Appreciate two positive things you did in a day. As an individual with a lack of self-esteem, he/she is habitual of seeing negatives in themselves. In order to train your brain to see the good in you, it has to be forced initially until it becomes an effortless practice. Learn To Be Rational – As an individual, we are most critical with ourselves and eliminate the positives or rather be very aggressive with ourselves. However, we need to learn to forgive ourselves and keep learning and growing. Additionally, we also need to learn to have realistic expectations from ourselves. Practice Breathing – It is important to have a calm nervous system to think rationally in a difficult situation, and this process helps to better resilience. Learn to Love Your Body – Ask yourself what is beautiful for you, not for people around you. Yes, it is important to keep your body healthy, but for yourself. Every day in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror, hug yourself, and just for a few seconds, appreciate your body. This process will also help you to feel confident in yourself internally and your body.